Use the feather duster you shall
by skywalking
Summary: In this story Yoda and the rest of the Jedi have had enough of Kenobi's and Skywalkers' living ways Yoda comes over and makes Kenobi and Skywalker clean, but nothing is as easy as it sounds rated t for future chapters
1. A disturbance in the nose

Hello and welcome to Episode 1 ½ use the feather duster you shall. Now as you probably read this is a comedy now I request that you enjoy yourself and also I would like to ask you are you really reading this or are you just skipping over this just to get to the story? Are you, if you aren't its ok if you are thank you and now you may read the story enjoy everyone!

Disclaimer I don't own Star Wars.

"In a galaxy far away, a long long time ago,"

STAR WARS EPISODE 1 ½

USE THE FEATHER DUSTER YOU SHALL

It is a time of peace for the Galactic Senate and the rest of the universe but not for the Jedi. A disturbance in the temple which has angered many Jedi, some say it's the work of the sith others disagree. Yoda, a Jedi master, is out to find this disturbance and end it forever…

The day started just like any day Yoda got up before everyone but little did Anakin and Obi Wan know what they were in for. Yoda was getting complaints from everyone who had to walk by their room in the temple from a smell. Even the Jedi who did not have a nose smelled the stench. Master Windu who lived across the hall, he had a gas mask and put it on every time he had to walk in and out of his room. Yoda had only gone past Kenobi and Skywalker's room once before this disturbance showed up, Yoda was getting tired of the complaints. Now today was the perfect day for it was Saturday and there were no classes. Now usually on Saturday most Jedi and their Padawans cleaned up, did their laundry, and then meditated or played at the recreational part of the temple and at night usually went to a party or a dance the dances were monthly. When there was not a dance most Padawans hung out with one another or they did something with their Jedi mentor. Most Padawans did not go to the same party as their Jedi mentor usually there were two different dances but tonight it was just one big dance with all the Jedi. Now Kenobi and Skywalker tended to skip the cleaning part but did the laundry and then go straight to the gym, meditation room, and then the party. But change that would today for Master Yoda was enforcing their cleaning.

_'What to bring, what to bring?' Yoda thought to himself, 'a mop I shall choose with cleaner and a vacuum too. The feather duster strong in cleanliness it is to come along too, it is its destiny. Been around Skywalker in the late afternoon I smell him I have bring deodorant I shall. Conquer the stench and clean the place we shall.'_

Master Yoda was off to make and help Obi Wan and Anakin clean. Now usually most Jedi and Padawans woke up about 9, but today that would change for Kenobi and Skywalker. As Yoda went to knock on Kenobi and Skywalker's door before he bent over after getting a whiff of what Kenobi and Skywalker's smell.

_'Go to Windu and get gas mask I shall,' thought Yoda._

Yoda went and knocked on the door, after a few minutes and a few more knocks Windu answered it.

"Shhhh shhhhh," Windu whispered to Yoda, "My padawan is trying to sleep and Yoda its 5:30 in the morning go back to bed," Windu said almost shutting the door before it was stopped by Yoda's cane.

"Need your gas mask I do, making Skywalker and Kenobi clean," whispered Yoda, "To conquer the stench and clean the place the gas mask I request."

"Thank you Yoda," whispered Mace Windu who got on the floor and started kissing his feet, "This will not be forgotten I'm bringing half cheese and half artichoke, spinach, and mushroom pizza on Monday."

"Gas mask, please Mace need it I do," whispered Yoda, "and problem there is none of for cleaning the place of Skywalker and Kenobi."

"Here you go," whispered Mace Windu as he handed the little green alien his gas mask which he fitted for him, knowing the size of Yoda's head.

Yoda went to knock on the door, which he had to do until 6:00.

What did you think about this chapter, this is not a one shot. Now please review while I do accept constructive criticism just coming out and saying you suck isn't helpful, and say something nice please. You know that old saying, if you have nothing nice to say then don't say it well use it but don't' be afraid to tell me what I did wrong just say something you liked too thanks.


	2. The Fish of Doom

Welcome to chapter two and I hoped you liked chapter one now I will be gone until Thursday and I'll probably update Friday anyways I hope you like this.

**Disclaimer I don't own star wars.**

CHAPTER 2

THE FISH OF DOOM

"Kenobi heavy sleeper you are," said Yoda through his gas mask.

Now most of use seeing a little alien in a gas mask after waking up would probably have the same expression as Obi Wan Kenobi.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Obi Wan screamed.

"Shhhh," said Yoda.

"Me it is, Master Yoda," said Yoda as he also bopped Obi Wan Kenobi on the head with is cane.

"Master Yoda, sorry you scared me I hope I didn't wake anyone up," said Kenobi as a whole hall of Jedi came out and shook their fists at him and gave him a I'm-gonna-kill-you-later look, because they were too lazy to yell.

"Source of stench is this?" asked Yoda through a gas mask as he pointed to the dead fish on the floor with is cane.

"Yeah, Anakin said that he had to observe a dead fish for a month and it had to be by the door, your assignment," replied a now more awake Obi Wan Kenobi.

"Never heard of this assignment I have, make this up Skywalker did," said a now angry Yoda for Kenobi being so gullible.

"Well I questioned him about it when he brought it in here and he said it was just an assignment and that you have gone off the edge," said Kenobi, "Sorry Master Yoda, please come inside."

"First, gone off the edge I have not, second, who is crazy enough to assign a whole class a dead fish for a month, and third, how come you don't notice the scent of the fish?" asked Yoda.

"Well the first couple of days it is unbearable but then you get used to it," replied Obi Wan, "But when you get used to it, it doesn't become such a big deal."

"Become a huge deal it has, no one wants to be by your room, borrowing Master Windu's mask I am," replied Master Yoda.

"I'm sorry Master Yoda I didn't know it was getting to be such a big deal, I thought the everyone on the floor had a dead fish in their room," replied Kenobi.

"Have a dead fish in the room everyone but you does not, clean this place up we shall," said Master Yoda, "Where is your padawan?"

"He's sleeping I'll go get him," said Kenobi as he ran off into Anakin's room.

Now compared to the Anakin's room the living room is the cleanest thing to exist. The living room is covered with soda cans, pretzel bags, chip bags, pizza boxes, soda stains of many colors, ants are all around, and covered in muddy paw prints from the time they had to baby sit Windu's dog. Anakin's room on the other hand, there are no pizza boxes, but there are many dead fish in it. Soda cans fill the place alone with his clear but dusty desk. There is even some sticky stuff hanging on the wall! All that would change today as Yoda would make them clean the room.

"Oh Padme give it to me babe," said Anakin as he made very awkward motions with his pillow which is down in a certain sensitive spot below the waist.

"Anakin, you perv," said Obi Wan as he shook Anakin, "We are officially going to stop telling each other what we dream from now on in this apartment ok."

Anakin usually made up what he said about the dreams, usually he said was: killing the sith, rapping, or nothing. But the truth was usually his dream was about Padme, now they usually didn't have sex but occasionally they did, in Anakin's dream and only in Anakin's dream.

"Yes Obi Wan," said Anakin as he yawned and took the pillow and put it back by his head, "Why are we up so early its only 12?"

"If your clock wasn't covered in the stuff coming from the wall you'd see that half of your clock is covered," said Obi Wan Kenobi (it's not a digital clock it's a two had clock if you get what I'm saying), "Now Master Yoda is over and we are going to clean today, for the second time this year, and you are going to apologize for the fish thing, Anakin you could've hurt his feelings."

"I didn't think you were that gullible Obi Wan really anyone could tell that it was prank, except you," said Anakin.

"We can debate this later now get dressed," said Obi Wan as he walked out of Anakin's room.

"He's up now if you'll excuse Master Yoda I need to change, I don't want to offend you any longer with what I am wearing," said Obi Wan, its more what he's not wearing, he sleeps in boxers only.

"Yes, change you shall be back in 2 minutes, use the windows you shall not to escape," said Master Yoda.

"Thank you Master Yoda," said Obi Wan as he did a quick bow and went off change.

Well did you like it if you did please tell me if you didn't tell me why but just don't say I suck thanks.


	3. The Gas Mask Strikes Again

Hello again and this will be my last chapter until Thursday or Friday and I hope you like this chapter. Now if you are reading this I'd like to take the time to say GO BROWNS! FIRST PRESEASON GAME SATURDAY! And if you read that thank you for reading it now I will stop distracting you enjoy.

Disclaimer I don't own Star Wars

CHAPTER 3

THE GAS MASK STRIKES AGAIN

When he returned after going to the bathroom and changing into a tee shirt and shorts he gave Master Yoda a quick bow.

"Thank you Master Yoda for letting me change," said Obi Wan as Anakin came in dressed and having used the bathroom (you can't do anything on a full bladder).

When Anakin walked into the room he had the same expression and did the exact thing that Obi Wan did.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Anakin as he ran back into his room.

"I am so sorry for this I will bring him back immediately," said Obi Wan

"Go please get him here you must," said Master Yoda.

"Anakin!" said Obi Wan, "that was Master Yoda please show some respect."

"I am now certain that he's gone off the edge," said Anakin.

"Anakin he hasn't, that was Master Windo's mask apparently our room smells so bad that he finds it necessary," said Obi Wan.

"But it's so weird!" Anakin shot back at him.

"Anakin how can you call that weird when you brought a fish into our living quarters and said it was an assignment?" asked Obi Wan.

"We needed a new smell," said Anakin, "I was getting sick of the smell of your deodorant."

"We both have the same smelling deodorant, wait Anakin you don't use yours do you?" asked Obi Wan.

"Yup you got that right," said Anakin with a grin.

"You're the person who got us into this mess Anakin," said Obi Wan, "If it hadn't been for your fish experiment then maybe we wouldn't have to clean this place up!"

"I'm not the one who is supposed to enforce the cleaning," said Anakin with a smirk.

"I let you clean your own room to try to teach you responsibility not to make it look like you had a party in here last night and they left your desk untouched missed the desk," said Obi Wan back as he started to lose his patience with his padawan.

"Come on it's not that dirty and we don't have to clean it and why would we?" asked Anakin which just pushed Obi Wan off the edge.

"ANAKIN SKYWALKER THIS PLACE IS SO DIRTY AND TRASHED THAT YOU ARE GROUNDED FROM GOING TO THE REC CENTER AND THE DANCE UNTIL YOU CLEAN IT UP," yelled Obi Wan.

"Why?" asked Anakin.

"Because I said so and there is every reason to clean it, we should not and will not live in this condition any longer," said Obi Wan

"But it's the big dance tonight, everyone is going to be there," whined Anakin.

"Until you clean your room and help me clean the rest of this place up you're not going Anakin and that is final," said Obi Wan like a mother says to a child to get her point across.

"Control your anger you must Obi Wan," said Yoda who Obi Wan had forgotten about him.

"Uh Master Yoda this almost never happens, you can hear through the walls and if it did happen often then you would hear from our neighbors," said Obi Wan with his head bowed, "I will not yell next time, Master Yoda I am sorry."

"Occasionally is ok Obi Wan, with having a padawan like Anakin see how you control your temper I do not," said Yoda.

"Hey Master Yoda I'm not that bad," said Anakin who got a light elbow to the ribs.

"Remember your manners Anakin," whispered Obi Wan.

"Good morning Master Yoda," said Anakin giving a small bow.

"Much better," Obi wan whispered.

"Good morning Anakin, gone off the edge have I?" Master Yoda asked angrily.

"Uhh well uhh," stuttered Anakin.

"NO I have not, Padawan Skywalker," said Yoda, "Learn to respect elders you shall."

"I'm sorry Master Yoda," said Anakin, "I shouldn't have said that and you haven't gone off the edge Master Yoda."

"Accepted this apology is," said Yoda, "Also Anakin anyone who puts fish by their door and an assignment they say it is, bad really they are."

"Master Yoda may I ask why are we cleaning?" asked Anakin ignoring Master Yoda's comment.

"Complaints I have gotten from many not being able to breathe, change that will," replied Yoda.

"What will we clean with?" asked Anakin.

"Brought over my own cleaning supplies I have," said Master Yoda, "After we are finished get some for you two we will. Have plastic bags do you?"

"Yes we do Master Yoda I will go get them," said Obi Wan as he went and got the plastic bags to start their cleaning.

What did you think about this chapter I hoped you liked I'm off to go to sleep. Now usually I don't update like this 3 times in a day just to let you know anyways I hoped you enjoyed this and GO BROWNS!


	4. Trash Talking

Hey welcome back and I'm back from vacation now obviously and I hope you have enjoyed this. Not much to say I hope you're not disappointed by this chapter or any chapter and I hope that you are reading this not just one person clicking on each chapter many times. If you did read this thank you if you didn't like I usually do then that's ok anyways enjoy and I hope all of you laugh or smile at the very least.

**Disclaimer I don't own Star Wars.**

CHAPTER 4

TRASH TALKING

"Very good this is Obi Wan," said Yoda.

"What will we start with first, Master Yoda?" asked Anakin as if he had never cleaned before which he probably hasn't.

"Start with the living room we shall," said Master Yoda, "Obi Wan the plastic bags use them you will, pick up the cans and pizza boxes you will but leave the fish you must, know a way to rid the fish easier I do. Anakin use the feather duster you shall, dust the television and wooden pieces of furniture you shall but first you must help Obi Wan clean up the mess you and him made. Have gloves do you?"

"No, not with me but there are some in the kitchen I will go get them," said Obi Wan, "Do you want a pair Master Yoda?"

"No thank brought my own pair I did," said Yoda as he pulled out his neon pink glove getting strange looks from Obi Wan and Anakin then Obi Wan went to get the gloves, "The only color they came in was this, find this at the one dollar store I did, and if dirty it becomes then able to clean it easily it is, dirt shows up on it well. Have this glove for a few years I have and in good condition it is."

"Here you go Anakin," said Obi Wan as he handed him the neon orange plastic gloves and put his own on.

"Thank you," said Anakin now usually he'd just go away and eat breakfast instead of cleaning. But since Master Yoda was there he was at Obi Wan's mercy for the dance he had to stay.

"I will vacuum after you pick all the cans, use the force you can Obi Wan but Anakin you cannot if I find you consequences there will be, no dance for you tonight," said Yoda.

"Ok Master Yoda," said Anakin as he started to hand pick the trash and Obi Wan joined him.

"What are you doing Obi Wan?" asked Anakin.

"I'm picking up trash Anakin," said Obi Wan.

"Why not use the force?" asked Anakin.

"Anakin that would not be fair while I am your mentor I will not take the easy way out and besides it's good to spend time with each other," said Obi Wan.

"Thanks Obi Wan," said Anakin.

"You're welcome Anakin," said Obi Wan, "I'm sure that we'll be able to go to the dance, it starts at 7 and this will only take till probably 12."

"You mean you and me right?' asked Anakin.

"Yes I do who else would I be talking to, the trash?" asked Obi Wan which made Anakin laugh.

"I didn't think you would be Obi Wan but you can never be sure these days," said Anakin, "With all these kid movies with animals talking who knows maybe a light saber will speak next."

"If you're a young kid I can see them enjoying it and a parent kind of but most of the time they are annoying," said Obi Wan, "Considering that they always are the same, something goes wrong then the main character works up to get to it meets another problem then gets through it."

"Whoa Obi Wan I didn't know you paid the close attention and in that much detail and you didn't really like them, the few we went to you seemed to not mind," said Anakin.

"That's because I didn't want you to have a bad time," said Obi Wan.

"Thanks Obi Wan but who were you really talking to?" asked Anakin with another laugh.

"What Anakin you think I've gone off the edge?" asked Obi Wan with a chuckle as he picked up more cans and threw them in a paper bag.

"Maybe," Anakin replied with a smirk but then turned into laughter as he picked up more cans.

"How many sodas do we drink, we've (as Obi Wan and Anakin picked up a can) only cleaned this place two years ago," said Obi Wan.

"Obi Wan two years have gone by and clean this place you have not?" asked Yoda who was shocked because he always cleaned his quarters weekly.

"Yes well I've kept my room tidy, we were both supposed to help do the kitchen and the living room but we didn't," said Obi Wan, "But I clean the bathroom weekly."  
With that Yoda had a sigh of relief; no one wants to be around a co-worker who doesn't clean his or her own bathroom. Also knowing that Obi Wan's bedroom was clean helped Yoda relax more, he could accept Anakin living in a dirty room but he could not accept Obi Wan living like that.

"Meet a friend and bring him back I will, need to go I do," said Yoda as he left the room, "Back in half an hour I will be."

What do you think, did you like this or was this chapter horrible, if you didn't like it, it's ok next one you may like more. Anyways I have to go Smackdown is on and the Mexicools just came out and I have to watch, I hope you enjoyed this.


	5. Poker Tales

Hey I'm back I hope you liked the last chapter now what I should tell you is that it is opening game for the Browns and I won't update again on Saturday just to let you know. Now I want the Giants to get their butts kicked. Anyways this chapter is uh the fifth chapter now uh yeah how do authors write these really? I can see after the chapter but before them have to have something to say. And I have nothing, don't I bring up the most interesting topics lol. Anyways enjoy this chapter and if you read this I feel bad for you that you took your time to read this. If you didn't read this well its not like you missed a lot.

Responses to reviews

**Overlord Niky: I'm glad you liked this too the answers to your questions have been answered in the story so I really can't answer them now, I just always wanted to do this, thanks for reviewing.**

**Maethorwen of Atlantis: Yes 6 in the morning besides Yoda is an early riser, or that's what I think thanks for reviewing.**

**Janet: I'm glad you love this story and yes there will be half cheese half artichoke, spinach, and mushroom pizza for the Monday council meeting brought in by Mace, thanks for reviewing.**

**garen kean: I'm glad you think its great, I've been having a blast writing it thanks for reviewing.**

**whatever: The friend you'll find out a couple chapters later, but I love your name. If I ever have a kid I may name him or her attention because every time that the teacher says pay attention well you get it. I know it's really corny and a bad joke but if it made anyone laugh or smile thinking man this guy is an idiot then I've done my job. But I still like your name and thanks for reviewing.**

**Disclaimer, I don't own Star Wars but I do own Master Ruth and Master Roye.**

CHAPTER 5

POKER TALES

"Now that Yoda is gone why did you choose dead fish anyways?" Obi Wan asked as he picked up more cans and other various pieces of trash that were scattered on the ground.

"Well first, I thought that you wouldn't believe that someone would actually assign that, it was just a joke which I thought that you would laugh at. I also choose a dead fish because it's hard to find, I could've said garbage, air fresheners, or a dead rat but you can find garbage, air fresheners, and a dead rat fairly easily. Where would you find a dead fish, you'd have to go out to the garden or somewhere else."

"But there are no fish in the garden, Anakin when did you sneak out?" asked Obi Wan.

"Uhhh well that time that you were in the meditation and I would be there for 4 hours, I went to the fence and into town and got a few," said Anakin.

"Well if this is a few I'd hate to see when you say a lot," said Obi Wan with a chuckle, "but really Anakin is there anything that is a lot that I should know."

"I dream about Padme a few times," said Anakin.

"Anakin I can tell you're lying," said Obi Wan.

"How can you?" asked Anakin.

"You're starting to blush and you're hair is standing up," said Obi Wan.

"I'll remember that when I play poker," said Anakin, "Thanks Obi Wan."

"Not stripe poker Anakin," said Obi Wan, "I hope."

"Nah, usually I play with guys, I tend to win," said Anakin.

"Well if you play make sure that you win, I'd rather hear that you won at stripe poker than you lost, but I don't want you to play," said Obi Wan, "trust me it sucks if you lose."

"Obi Wan did you ever play?" asked Anakin as he picked up more trash.

"Yes twice actually," said Obi Wan, "Eww this banana peel smells, anyways the first time I was bare naked, down to nothing. But so was the girl next to me so it wasn't so bad. There were only 5 people but eventually I got my underwear back on."

"You were butt naked," said Anakin, "Who were the other Jedi?"

"Anakin it is not nice to interrupt," said Obi Wan, "But I will tell you anyways you know Master Ruth?"

"Yes," said Anakin.

"She was the one who was naked and we were both 16," said Obi Wan, "Mace Windu was there and a few others."

"How did it end?" asked Anakin.

"We all got tired and a couple of them fell asleep so I left, so did Master Ruth _'little does he know that's the whole story' thought Obi Wan_," said Obi Wan, "The second time I did much better, I only had to take of my shirt and Master Roye (girl and these are their last names just incase you forgot) was there along with Master Ruth. This time we were 17 and both girls were down to their bras and panties, but not butt naked Windu was butt naked, a horrible sight which hopefully no one will have to see again."

"You know, Master Windu isn't all that bad," said Anakin, "He's kind of nice."

"He is, it's just that he's really strict," said Obi Wan, "But if you get to know him he's nice, I think."

"Yeah well hey I can see the floor," said Anakin, "It's been a while since I've seen it and there are a lot of ants."

"What did you expect to see, free pizza?" asked Obi Wan.

"Actually I expected to see mold," said Anakin.

"I'm sure you will see mold," said Obi Wan as he tied off a bag and got another, "Not all the pizza boxes are empty."

"Are you serious Obi Wan I thought we always finished it," said Anakin.

"Yeah I am a few times that we ordered we didn't finish and I forgot to put it for leftovers and we never threw it out so here it is," said Obi Wan as he opened one to reveal the green, "Always have a clean living quarter, I should've taught you that a long time ago. But don't obsess over it because that gets really creepy, and Qui Gon was like that somewhat and it was weird."

"Still it's not nice to say that about someone," said Anakin.

"We won't be seeing him soon Anakin so don't worry," said Obi Wan.

"I wouldn't say that," said Anakin as he looked over Obi Wan's shoulder.

What did you think about this chapter, review if you don't its ok I would just like to know your thoughts on it. Thanks for reading this even if you don't review thanks and I'll update sometime soon. Don't you just hate it when the author takes up all that space at the beginning for who knows what but the chapter was decent sized it just wasn't a huge pre story thing and no chapter anyways now I'm one of those authors, lol anyways I'll update later GO BROWNS! (Do I use anyways too much I think I do)


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